How to Do It All (but Not All at Once)

 

Parents of small children have probably all heard the saying that only one thing in my life is going to look presentable at any given time: my house, my child, or me. And while the sentiment may be on the verge of depressing, I think it holds a valuable takeaway. That parenthood doesn't limit our potential, only our area of focus for this specific moment in time. 

It's not that I can't put myself together now that I have a child, it's just that I'd rather dress her up in a cute outfit for the family get-together than spend that time on myself. And hey, maybe some days I do spend that time on me. And that's okay, too. 

But when you apply this thought process to other areas of your life, you might begin to find areas that are garnering more of your focus than others. For me, there are a few mental tricks that have helped me shift that focus where I want it to be at any given time.

Think About the Whole Week

This tip I credit to Laura Vanderkam's Before Breakfast podcast (each episode is super short and jam-packed full of helpful advice in time management). The idea is that we tend to think about things on a day-to-day basis, which is often limiting. If we zoom out and look at our life on a weekly basis, we realize we have 7 opportunities in a week. 

This could mean 7 days to divide amongst different goals, or 7 days to distribute based on higher-ranking priorities. Maybe you have 7 different passion projects (go you!) and you want to dedicate one morning spot to each of them. Or let's say you have an exercise goal that you want to devote 70-80% of your energy toward. That could mean that 5 days out of the week you use your free time going for a run, leaving you twice a week to devote to something else. 

Divide Your Blocks of Time Into Smaller Ones

Let's say that you have 2 hours to yourself in the morning. You might choose to focus that time on one task, or you could divide the time into smaller blocks for different areas of focus. Let's say you want an hour to spend writing, followed by 30 minutes of yoga, and another 30 minutes reading. 

It might not be as much time as you'd prefer to devote to said activity, but consider the time wasting activities that might otherwise steal these moments. You'd be surprised how these small segments of time begin to impact you. After a week or two you realize you finished reading a whole book, when you only recently told a friend that you hadn't picked one up in years!

Don't discount those smaller increments of time. 

Not Every Day Has to Look the Same

I find that as soon as I create a schedule for myself, something or someone is going to mess it up. Be it the weather, work, or illness, it's going to inevitably happen. For this reason I am always slightly shifting, trying new things, taking notes on what is working and what isn't. For me, this is an exercise in mental flexibility, learning how to adapt and overcome when things don't go as planned. I find that if I give my life permission to be different from one day to the next, then I don't ever have to feel like my entire system has failed. It's just that today is a different day. There is always tomorrow to try something else.

Progress Over Perfection

One of the hardest things for me to accept is not finishing something when I intend to. Waking up early to finish a blog post only to find I'm halfway through when the allotted time has expired is incredibly frustrating. But when I remind myself that I'm a half blog post closer than I was yesterday, it helps me let go of that disappointment. 

One of the most dangerous traps we can fall into is thinking that something unfinished is the equivalent of nothing. That a subpar workout is the same as not working out at all. Or that a meditation where you couldn't stop thinking about work was a complete and total failure. 

The truth is, all of those things are still progress. We are still going to see the results of that progress, even if it takes a smidge longer than we initially thought. Who cares? I'd so much rather feel proud of myself for trying than to give up because I couldn't be perfect. And for my family, that's certainly a message we want to instill our kids. 

So maybe ask yourself, where am I choosing to focus?

If no one's told you today,

You're doing great, Mama. 💓

I am a blogger mama raising a toddler as I attempt to work from home, keep food on the table, and keep the house intact, all while finding those precious moments of self care. I hope my blog encourages moms to take it all in, to savor our time with out children without forgetting about ourselves in the process. My goal in creating this space is not about productivity, but getting the most out of this life we are lucky to live. Whether that means pursuing your passions or being a happy and present mom. Not to encourage moms to do more, but to support moms in whatever they desire to be.